Tales of a bored homemaker - Self esteem

Welcome to another not so interesting read of thoughts, questions and discussions going  around in my mind. If you are a bored homemaker as I, you may be able to relate to these thoughts regarding self-esteem. 

These wandering thoughts about self-esteem arose during one of those not so happy discussions with my husband. He suggested I look for a job so that I can keep my mind busy and channel my energy into something productive instead of these not so productive discussions. It was surprising since he is generally a supportive partner. It also led me into thinking - Is this how it is going to be hereafter? Are my discussions going to be productive only if I have job or a hobby that keeps my mind busy? For someone like me who just got into the role of a homemaker, my self-esteem took a hit with these thoughts.

I've been advised time and again by families, and society to find a job not for financial independence but to keep the mind busy. It's generally made apparent that finances can be managed, but an empty mind, not so much. It made me realise how easy it is to ignore  challenges in the current situation and to blame it on one's mind. The funny thing about this is that my mind is never quiet. I can get bored but even then I'm wondering what to do next. 

Throughout my life I have seen and heard people treating well-educated, working-class people as stupid and only useful for household/ meager chores on many occasions. I've also observed people being conditioned to forgive and forget for a cordial marriage or societal relationship. In my experience I've seen more of this happening to women than men. It's also  probably why today women and men have started to realise their ability to be on their own than be treated like anything less than a human being. 

So then for people like me who have become homemakers by choice, how do we stand by our choice when the very people for whom we've made this choice ask us to get jobs or hobbies especially when there's any inconvenience or distasteful situation. Before you come at my throat for my choice, let me make it very clear that I'm in no way against working or working women. I was a working woman and I do believe in financial independence and one's contribution towards society. If I could continue working on my terms while staying with my husband, I would have happily chosen to do so. In an ideal world, I would not have to be dealing with this at all because I'd be having ideal circumstances/partner/ family / society.  In reality, for most of us, our circumstances are not ideal. We have our flaws and strengths. While there are many flaws in the partners, families and society that we're living in, we still choose to love and live with them. One of the options that's available today is to leave the current situation, choose independence and start looking for an ideal life with many opportunities present in the world we live in. While I'm capable of doing it, I'd rather work towards betterment of this not so ideal life. 

I understand esteem is not dependent on anyone but self. But at times unknowingly we do let others take charge of our confidence. Choosing to be a homemaker was one of the toughest decisions of my life as I come from a family of ambitious, well-educated working women. I've understood that maintaining one's self- esteem as a homemaker while living with challenging or not so ideal partner, families and society is going to be quite a journey. 

Is one's self-worth only associated with the job that they do or a hobby they pursue?  What can be the next steps? I know the answers to these questions, however,  at times I feel that the answers that I know are not really the answers  that I want to accept. So I'm dilly dallying my way through it and now you all are a part of it too. 

There are many of you living your lives just the way you want having mastered the ability to deal with not so ideal partner/families and society. Kudos to you! Today I can say confidently that I'm not there yet but  it makes me happy to know that I can share my wandering thoughts with my husband, families and my dear readers. It'll make me happier to know your thoughts too. So let me know what's your take on self- worth in the comments below 😊