This is such a powerful quote. I'm surrounded by people where I live who consider kindness to be an act of manipulation. The actions which are genuinely done out of concern, love, encouragement or mindfulness are often interpreted as an act of selfishness, ego, contol or influence.
I'm not sure if this issue exists only around me or if any of you have faced similar challenges. I'll give you a simple example. I appreciated a colleague for their hardwork and deliverance recently. I later heard that this act was considered as showing off. Apparently I wanted to show everyone that I am a good person and I only want to extract more work from the colleague behind all the goodness. Although my intentions were genuine, it still was perceived in a very different way.
This is just one of many situations that I've been through. I've been told I'm too humble. I'm too polite so it's easier for others to take advantage of me. I'm too gullible. I'm too good to others. I don't know how to say no and so on..
Growing up one of the most important things that my mother taught me was to be kind. I had seen my closest relatives being really unkind to me and to each other. When I used to be upset about it, my mother always told me to focus on my actions and to let everything else upto the universe. I might not be the brightest and might be a spend thrift but it's been engrained in me to be aware of my actions especially when it comes to another human being and to be consciously kind.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not a saint. I can be stubborn at times, I lack patience, can be short tempered depending on my mood. I possess many more such qualities. But I try to learn from my mistakes. I'm learning about boundaries, saying no without guilt, trying to be more patient and not lose temper. These are few of the attributes that I'm learning. I've many flaws that I carry with me but being kind to others is a conscious decision that I make. To uplift, support each other, encourage to do good, provide a lending ear....these are all conscious choices. I may not be the richest or most popular but I go to bed knowing that I've not cheated or lied or manipulated anyone. I go to bed at peace.
I have been wronged many times by dear ones, colleagues and strangers. I've been heart broken so many times that I've really lost count. Living in a cantonment and an unpredictable life has also given me the ability to deal with disappointments as life happens.
I'll share an incident that happened with me few months ago. I was advised by someone from my unit to not put my personal life out there because a narrative is being spread by a family from my same unit that I treat my husband with disrespect and I'm not grateful to my husband for the life I have in this Cantt. Well, for a second I was taken aback, then I thought to myself I don't really remember sharing anything personal and this is not something I wanted to know. But knowing the nature of that family very well, their actions weren't really disappointing to me. Also, later both me and my husband had a good laugh about it.
I could have taken this incident to my heart and spoken ill about the family to that person or others but I chose not to do it. All I said to the person who shared this with me was I know my truth and I don't really have to prove anything to anyone. Neither am I going to change with what I know now. I'm going to be myself and as long as I have good health, peace of mind and a happy home, nothing and no-one else matters.
Life has put me in situations where I thought to myself what did I deserve to be here. But in all of these situations, all I knew was that I don't have to reciprocate and become one among those who chose to hurt me. It's not my responsibility to wrong them. Their actions will be accounted for. All I can do is keep going, try not to hurt anyone intentionally in the process and live a life in peace.
In the end....it all comes to choices. Choose to be kind. We all need it at the end of the day.
Be kind,be yourself
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